Cat and Dog Diaries
PET HUMOUR: What our cuddly little pets are really thinking
A Dog’s Diary
- 8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
- 9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
- 9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
- 10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
- 12:00 pm – Lunch! My favorite thing!
- 12:30 pm – Bath time! Bummer!
- 1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
- 3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
- 5:00 pm – Milk bones! My favorite thing!
- 7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
- 8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
- 11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
A Cat’s Diary
Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments
about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am. Bastards.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe… for now…
Will keep you posted.
Best Happy Friday post yet: If historic people had Facebook :D
** More Happy Friday Humour **