HUMOUR: Funny, true truisms (or, free Facebook statuses!)
1. Bad decisions make good stories.
2. Was learning cursive really necessary?
3. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
4. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
7. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this – ever.
I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?
8. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
9. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
10. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
11. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
12. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
13. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue-Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.
14. There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far…
Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!
15. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
16. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?
17. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
18. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent an A-hole from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
19. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
20. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
Happy Friday! :D
** More Happy Friday Humour **